One Step at a Time
How do those lyrics go? "We live and we learn to take one step at a time. There's no need to rush. It's like learning to fly Or falling in love. It's gonna happen and it's supposed to happen that we find the reasons why one step at a time." Jordin Sparks was right. I knew this process would not be easy to overcome, even today I will still have little breakdowns over something that is going in my life.
For instance, over Christmas break I ended up getting into a fight with my mom because I bought her a gift that meant something to me and I thought it would mean something to her as well..instead she gave it to my brother's girlfriend because I didn't get her anything..even though I barely know her but ok. That really stung when I found that out. I remember I wasn't sleeping at all during break and was barely eating and I could not figure out why, but then one night I was wide awake tossing and turning in my bed and thinking. Then it hit me. I was so upset at my mom that I wasn't even talking to her, I wasn't talking to my dad and not even my brother. I had blocked my whole family out, I blocked my support system out.
I began to have another break down but not as extreme as before. I vowed not to call my mom. I would have called my friends who knew about my current situation but it was winter break and everybody was gone...just my luck. So instead I took the advice from the hotline that my work made me call and hugged my pillow and counted to ten. It was working...but I was still crying which always makes things worse for me. So I end up calling my mom and lashing out on her at 2am. The thing is I don't think she understood how upset I really was until I called her that night. Waking up my parents may have upset them but being able to finally voice my opinion on this situation really helped me get over this breakdown.
As mentioned before, this isn't easy. There is always going to a roadblock that tears me down for a bit. But it just takes one step at a time. I have learned from all of my mistakes and now I know how to tackle these breakdowns and learn from each new one that comes at me. I guess you could say I am ready for the challenge.
then