Just Keep Breathin’

Let’s get one thing straight. You are not allowed to tell people that what they are doing or did was a wrongful act, unless you have a bond with them. You do not know exactly what he or she is feeling and thinking, unless you have a connection to them. Let’s get another thing straight too. Our world is fucked up lately. Too many of us make ourselves revolve around the internet. Which, for the most part, is fine because it’s how most of us like to express ourselves and show others out there what we are made of. However, there is also a good portion of us who have become so selfless of what they comment or post about others, that they forget the pain they’ve just caused towards the person they just tormented. This year has been a very tough one for me as many of you close to me know. Moving back in with my parents, fighting depression and anxiety, fighting addiction, dealing with tough relationships and friendships. It’s all so tough, and I think what makes it so tough for me is because of what the world has to come to lately. Basically, the world has come to expressing their feelings on social media. Whether, it’s joy, anger, sadness, or worries, a lot post on the internet because they want to feel loved in some type of way, and I guess if I’m being totally honest, it’s one of the main reasons I blog. I have loved the support I’ve gotten from all of this. Yet, there’s such a harsh side to social media as well, and a lot of people who don’t battle with mental issues like myself, sometimes forget to see that. I started this blog again because I wanted to help others like myself, which is still true. I opened this blog back up because of what was going on in the world and how it related to my life. With all these issues going on, I want to help teach the people who don’t have an illness similar to mine, the pain and suffering we feel when such events occur. I grew up watching Demi Lovato on Disney Channel like most young girls. However, when I was in high school, I hadn’t even realized that I had a problem. At that time in my life, I loved Demi because of her voice and her music. I also loved her because she was fighting what I was fighting, self love and self worth. In high school, the only drugs I was doing were pain killers because of the sense of relief I would get when taking them. I didn’t think it was problem, but later in life, I realized how much of a problem it had become. When I first got to college I thought I knew what I wanted to do for a career. Then, classes started and it became clear, I needed to switch majors. When trying to figure that out I just couldn’t think of what I wanted to do and if college was even for me. Luckily, with the help of my University, I was able to find something that I love doing, and have so many different options to choose from for a career. It all sounds so simple right? Find something in particular from that area I was studying and run with it? Right? Wrong. When you’re in the class setting it just seems so easy because your given a certain task and you bounce your ideas off of it and make it your own. Then, when you get to the real world it’s like, where is my prompt at, because many of us don’t know what we truly want out of life yet. Despite all of that, you have all of your personal issues weighing you down as well, while trying to make a living. Sometimes, it all gets to be too much and you hit your breaking point. I never really followed Mac Miller, but I follow Ariana Grande. She’s just another person I idolize because of yet again, her voice and her music, but one of the main reasons I love her, is because of how bold and brave she is when it comes to social media. When the bombing at her concert occurred, I thought it would take awhile for her to heal from the pain, but it didn’t. She used it as motivation to help others and spark her new album. Which is just another one of the many reasons I look up to her. It just seemed like her music would come out at the perfect moment in my life. I would just sit or drive in my car, and listen to the lyrics and feel a certain type of way because of how I much I related to them all. Her and Demi’s music have helped me overcome so much in my life, and the fact that they go through similar struggles as me is just icing on the cake. The reason I’m writing all of this, is because of how much I have been hurt inside about the recent events that have taken place in their lives. They’re out here in this world doing what they love and helping young girls like myself overcome the unthinkable. Yet, when something terrible happens to them, people become so quick to judge and make harsh comments, most of which are on their social media page. In all honesty, I think that’s why so many people battle with mental illnesses lately. The people who are tearing others down on the internet like that are forgetting something, they’re behind a computer or a mobile device. Once you send whatever you type, you don’t get to see the expression on their face when it’s received. It’s just all made me start to wonder, that, if we didn’t have the technology like we do today, would those same people still be saying those particular words sraight to their face? I don’t think people realize how powerful words are either. The saying, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me,” is so not true. Again, it’s because of the world we’ve come to live in. People call each other names on the internet, and don’t realize how much we begin to hurt when seeing that. We don’t see the others when they’re in their bed crying and hugging a pillow for comfort. It’s all become so sickening to me. As I finish this post, I just want to say that we can’t sit here and hate on the certain celebrities that we don’t feel a connection to. We don’t personally know them, and the struggles they have to face while the whole world is watching their every move. When Ariana received the news about Mac Miller, we don’t know what her facial expressions were. We don’t know what she’s doing right now to cope with it all. We don’t even know the whole truth about their break up, because we don’t know the whole truth behind their relationship when the doors are closed. So, I’m just asking for anyone who is reading this to please just think about those kinds of things before we make our comments about situations such as these. This world sucks sometimes, but with the love and support from each other, we find a way to survive it all, and that’s what I find amazing about it.