Goodbye, 2018. Hello 2019!
The year is finally coming to an end, and it feels like everyone is patting themselves on the back for whatever major accomplishments they achieved in 2018.
Have you ever noticed that every time you begin scrolling through social media you'll see someone new got engaged, another person landed their dream job, or someone is adding a new bundle of joy to their family tree? Oh yeah, can't forget that Susan lost thirty pounds...you go Susan!
Even though most of us would like to be happy for our friends and family members who are actually getting their shit together, it can often be difficult to really feel that happiness you are giving. It's hard because we then begin to reflect on our own year, and for those of us who struggle with mental illness on a day-to-day basis, it feels like hell.
Sure, getting out of bed in the morning may seem like a groundbreaking accomplishment to those of us who suffer with mental health. But, try posting that to your Facebook timeline and all you'll get is a laugh or two, because they think you are making a joke out of it. However, in reality, it truly is an accomplishment because all you want to do in this cold weather is lay in bed and watch Netflix all day.
What a lot of people don't understand is, that for people like myself, living with anxiety and depression, those little goals we achieve every day are like little mountains. And when we get to the top of them, we deserve to throw a little mini party in celebration too.
So, even though your Facebook friends and Instagram followers may not be congratulating you for washing your hair or cleaning your house, just remember that I am.
I am so proud of you for getting out of bed today, dressing yourself, and leaving the house to go to a job that you may or may not like, and probably don't get paid as much as you should.
If you suffer through the whims of your messed up brain every single day and still manage to get anything done, kudos to you. You deserve to pat yourself on the back for that, this year and every year to come.
As someone whose own depression and anxiety has hit some very high points this year, I want to emphasize that your mental illness will never define you. Most importantly, it will never determine your worth on this Earth.
Just because your victories this year are smaller than others', that doesn't make them less valuable. Small victories are still victories.
Just remember there is always time for those bigger victories in your life. Those small victories may be a step forward to that huge achievement you have been dreaming of your entire life. You will not feel down on yourself forever, when you start feeling better about your self-worth, you will start performing better again, I guarantee it.
Until that day comes, be kind to yourself. You may not have accomplished everything you wanted to this year, but time never stops, and you will get there one day.
I know I didn't achieve what I thought I would this year, but what I do know, is that 2018 was my learning year. I learned from mistakes, and gained so many life lessons. Instead of going into 2019 upset and hurt, I will be entering wiser and more hopeful of what I have yet to achieve in my life.
If you struggle with mental health like myself, I hope you enter 2019 the same way I will, and we can kick ass together this new year.