Goodbye Former Self.
The beginning to every new year is always the same, feeling pressured into succumbing to the ever so popular, "New Years resolution." However, I am not one to really participate in typical or cliche things such as this tradition, but this year I feel extremely different. This year in 2019, I want to specifically devote to myself. This may sound extremely selfish and self-centered to many people, but I have been wanting to do this type of thing for quite some time now, and it is very long overdue. I have always vowed to myself that I would put some time away for myself in the near future, but I had never gotten around to it. However, this year 2019, is the year that I finally stick to my promise.
My New Years resolution is to spend more time making myself happy and less time worrying about everything else in the World. As mentioned above, this may sound very selfish to some of those reading this, but it's not. For the vast majority of my life, I have learned to always put others needs above my own. In fact, growing up I was always taught that if you put others needs before your own is an extremely noble and courageous thing to take part in. And although I still believe a part of that to be true, it is not always true, and unfortunately I had to learn this lesson the hard way.
Looking back at the past few years of my life, I would never take out the sadness, hurt, and other misfortunes I encountered. Honestly, I look at some of those things I put myself through as a lesson. All of the hurt and pain I took part in lead me to the person I am today, and I love who that person is. I am now a stronger, wiser, and more confident individual than I have ever been before. However, this year it is finally time I focused on loving myself more and getting my mentality back to what somewhat normal.
I came to the conclusion that I would never be my happiest self if I didn't learn to make myself as important as I make others. I have never met anyone that was alright with the idea of putting themselves first until very recently. I realized that even authentically good people have to really take a step back and put themselves first before they are able to take care of others. I have come to terms of understanding this and am so happy that I am able to see the good and happiness I can truly achieve when I put myself first.
To destroy all other false concepts, putting yourself first does not mean disregarding others feelings and livelihoods. It simply means that in order to truly love others to your full and highest capacity, you have to be able to love yourself to your full and highest capacity. I was always unable to give my own self the appropriate amount of love and self-care because I had always put others before myself, and dealing with anxiety and depression on top of it all was just exhausting. So, I decided that this year was the year that I was done with that and to focus on myself first.
I have only started implementing small ideas of promoting self-love and self-care within my lifestyle and daily routine and I already see some drastic results. Understanding that I can love myself to the highest capacity and to the capacity that I deserve while loving others just as much as I did before, makes me feel like I can conquer the world and take on even more than I ever could of before this realization. I will never look back putting myself first and I hope and encourage anyone else to do so as well!